I was suddenly in a bright room, filled with people scrambling everywhere, but I couldn't really see them. Come to find out later, my blood pressure was around 30 over 20 or lower and I was continuing to lose blood. I heard my doctor tell the other doctor, "We have verbal consent to do a hysterectomy."
That's when someone started drawing blood from my right arm and my Russian Anesthesiologist was almost suffocating me with the oxygen mask. I remember her pressing it against my face and myself struggling to get a breathe and telling her, "I can't breathe!" She just pushed it harder and said, "Breathe the fresh air!" in her gruff, Russian accent. A painful shot of general anesthetic was shot into my left IV. I remember feeling the rush of cold pain shoot up my arm and then nothing...
While I was in the O.R., Tim called my parents and his parents. My parents came to the hospital right away to wait. He told Juanita to go home and get some sleep. They had no idea how long I would be in the O.R. and it was 4am at this point. She had almost been there 24 hours with us!
The nurses told Tim that he could take the baby into the room and wait. He said that he walked in and it looked like a crime scene or a scene from SVU. There was blood everywhere and he said the same thing I did about it looking like something had been gutted there. He said he just started sobbing holding Graysen.
The nurse came in and yelled down the hall for someone to clean up the room. In a minute, they were there cleaning up all of the blood. 20 minutes later, they told Tim that the doctor was finishing up with me in ICU and then he could come in.
At around 5:00am, it was so great to finally be able to have quality skin to skin time with my baby! My blood pressure was still 40 over 20 at this point and I was unable to sit up. I had to lie flat while I got 2 more units of blood. I had already had 2 in the O.R. I wasn't in a lot of pain, but it's not like people who have a C-Section. I did not have any incisions and only had a tiny tear that needed just one stitch. (Guess he was right when he said I was "stretchy".) I was very swollen though and the nurses made ice packs out of diapers to put into my adult sized diaper. They changed them every couple hours along with using Dermaplast Spray and Witch Hazel Tux Pads. I was still so tired, but thankful to be alive!
The doctor said that I was 2 minutes away from a hysterectomy, but that the other doctor on call got my uterus back in place on the last try. They were unable to get all of the placenta out though and I still may need a DNC. That's ok...it's so much better than the other option! This scary, rare thing that happened to me, happens to only 1 in 3,000 people and I was the lucky one! They said that if I had more children, my placenta would have to be manually removed again, but that it would be very, very rare that my uterus would do that! One of the nurses said, "I've been an O.B. nurse for 21 years and I have never seen that happen!"
So..know that if you have never had a baby, that this is NOT A NORMAL DELIVERY!
Sleeping on Mama while she gets 2 more units of blood back in the Birth Center.
(6 liters total)
Wednesday evening, after being in ICU all day, my hemoglobin was back up to 7 and seeming to stay there so I was able to be transferred back to the Birth Center. I still could not get up but was able to sit up to 30 degrees. From that point on, nursing and trying to get my milk to come in was the main priority. Since I lost so much blood, my body's first response was not to make milk, it was to make blood.
Since the nurses did not know how long I would be gone, or out, they were forced to give Graysen a bottle of formula which my mom got to give to him. I remember waking up in the ICU and my boobs hurt so bad!!!! I had to use a special hospital grade pump with a preemie setting, even though Graysen technically was not a preemie, which I have at home and am using now for the rest of the week. At first, I was struggling to get 2cc's in a syringe and we were scraping every drop off to give to him. Latching on was not going to well since we were having to bottle feed him to supplement. Nursing is getting better every day now though! I'm still pumping and we are still having to give him a small bottle after nursing sometimes, but no more formula is needed.
Thursday at 3:30, I finally got to stand up and take a "shower". Until now, I had been DISGUSTING! They "washed" the puke out of my hair in the ICU with leave-in shampoo that I'm certain is not supposed to be leave-in as it made my hair feel nastier than it did with puke in it. I was still very nauseas and dizzy when I sat up or stood up, but the doctor was certain that I would be able to go home the next morning. (Friday) Remember, we were having a graduation at our house on Friday!!
Thursday night, as Tim and I were going to call to order our "special meal" that the hospital provides for new parents, now that I was able to eat more than ice chips, the power went out! All went dark! The nurse came in and said it was a planned power outage due to construction, but that they were using generators and they were all under the assumption that the lights etc would still work. Well...not the case! Only things plugged into the few red outlets had power. We had to get a flashlight to use the bathroom. Now, I was not only dragging my IV friend to the bathroom with me, but I was doing it in the dark! My friend Cassie was kind enough to run to Chipotle to get supper since we were unable to order Room Service. The lights came back on around 10pm and things resumed as normal.
Friday morning, the doctor came in and said that I was able to go home that morning. We then started getting things ready and going through the discharge process. At 10am on Friday morning, we were headed home!!
Now that we are home, we are so excited to do normal things like bath time and cuddling!
Thank you to all of the amazing doctors and nurses that made this all possible as well as our Doula, Juanita, my family and my amazing husband! This pregnancy has brought my husband I closer together. I could not have done it without him! I thank God everyday that he's here!
This pregnancy has had several ups and downs. We were up and so excited to get pregnant right away, when told that it may not happen since I have endometriosis. Then it was down when thought it was ectopic because of all the cramping I was having. We were up when it wasn't and we found out 12 weeks later that it was a BOY! The next day was a downer when the doctor called to say that he had Brain Cysts and we needed a Type 2 ultrasound. We were up again when 9 days later the cyst on the right was completely gone and the one on the left was disappearing! We had a strong little man on our hands that even flexed his muscles for an ultrasound picture! We then were up pretty much the rest of the pregnancy and then had a huge downer with this post delivery trauma! I'm glad that we got to end with an upper and bring out beautiful baby boy home!
Thank you to all who have sent things, given warm wishes and support. Since being home, I have felt amazing and Tim says it's very hard to tell people how close to death I was when I took a walk on Day 3, went to the neighboring town for breakfast with my grandma on Day 4, etc. The doctor said I need to keep moving and taking walks. I am still taking it easy, but am so thankful that they talked me into the epidural. I think that all of the general anesthesia and extra blood, plus having to lay flat for 2 days really made my recovery fast! I can't wait to continue to document all of Graysen's amazing milestones!
MB
