My body is AMAZING!

I have always been comfortable content with my body for the most part. This pregnancy though, has really taught me to love my body. It can do wondrous things! I was your normal woman with normal body issues. "My thighs could be smaller, my stomach could be tighter...yada yada yada." I am so astonished at the things my body has done during this pregnancy and is still going to do! It's crazy to think that my body, my amazing body, made a human being, out of virtually nothing! At the beginning of this pregnancy, besides morning all day sickness, I wasn't too excited about my "new" body. I looked more like I had had a few too many beers rather than a baby in there. Once my belly started really popping and getting firm, I LOVE my pregnant body. Well...besides the days where I feel like a beached whale! I will honestly be sad to not be pregnant anymore. I'm not saying that I will want to be pregnant right away again, but after feeling him move around inside me for almost a year...I'm going to miss that feeling. I will however, NEVER take my body for granted again!

It is never too soon to get things to make you comfortable!

Tim and I got a new bed at the beginning of our pregnancy with some wedding money that we had gotten. We upgraded to a King! It's a good thing too, because very early on, I got a body pillow. And not just any body pillow...an all encompassing pillow that surrounds me with fluffy goodness! Needless to say, this pillow is large enormous! Even in our King-sized bed, Tim is, bless his heart, pushed to the other end of the world it seems on the edge of his side of the bed. It was the best investment I made though! It has made sleep wonderful bearable! Sleep was great...now that I only have a few weeks left, it's getting very uncomfortable, pillow or not.

Do not get carried away with buying nursing bras too soon!

Most women are so excited about their newly found breasts when pregnant. I on the other hand, was blessed cursed in that area. My boobs really didn't grow that much right away. They didn't need to! They were however, VERY sore for awhile. I was still wearing a couple pre-pregnancy bras until about 6 months. I had a gracious friend who had given me a couple nursing bras that she was done with. That was all I needed. I was very tempted to go treat myself with a bunch of new bras for my slightly larger breasts and why not get nursing ones to kill two birds with one stone right??? Well, I'm glad I didn't. One, they aren't cheap! Two, at about 7 months, my breasts got MUCH larger. I had to get new bras then and did get nursing ones. You will be SHOCKED at the size your boobs become! I know also, that they will be getting even bigger/fuller when my milk comes in. That is when I will need to invest in even more. I will be getting ones then that don't have underwire, but right now, underwire is a necessity! Those without large breasts, take for granted the ability to wear the little cotton camisole type bras. We that are well endowed...NEED all the support we can get! 

Baby Brain is REAL!

Everyone talks about Baby Brain and the crazy things you'll do/forget while pregnant. You think, (myself included), oh it can't be THAT bad! WRONG! It is a serious condition that should be addressed with caution! It ranges from things as small as forgetting your lunch on the counter...every single day...to putting your car keys in strange places like the fridge. I also have lost all ability to type, write, and even think in complete sentences. Combine that with ADD tendencies and you are SCREWED! Post-it notes are your friend...use them...everywhere! I stick them to the door to the garage, my computer, my purse, my desk, anywhere that I think I will see them later, because if I don't...there is no guarantee that  I will remember to do it. I also find myself unable to speak at times like I have suffered a stroke. No joke! I am hearing it in my head and know what I want to say, but, no matter how hard I try, my brain is unable to successfully send a signal to my mouth to say it out loud. 

Time has no schedule!

We found out we were pregnant very early on. (4 weeks) At first, time seemed to go by so slowly. I was thinking, "If I am this sick the entire pregnancy, I'm going kill someone!!" Then...time does a complete 180 and moves so fast that you have no idea how you gained 20 lbs in a week! Ok...it was several weeks, but it seems like one. And finally...you are at the point where time seems to drag on again. Some days fly by but overall, it's getting harder and harder to move and I just can't wait to feel 'normal' again. And even though time seems to move more slowly now, I still feel like I have no time to finish up the last minute things that need to get done before baby arrives! 

Meltdowns are inevitable! 

Yes, being pregnant, you are entitled to a few meltdowns. After all, your hormones are raging! (Take my "Things you should never say to a pregnant woman...EVER!" post) Those that know me, know that I have always been an overly emotional person. I am actually very surprised at how even-tempered I have been throughout this pregnancy. My husband may beg to differ, but overall, I think the meltdowns have been pretty scarce. There have been times though, and like I said, it's ok, that I have had some little major meltdowns. They are more anxiety attacks than anything. Pregnancy can make you very anxious. Anyway, even though they were over the dumbest little things, it's ok. You need to tell yourself...it's ok! On that note, it may be ok, but you still need to take the time to apologize to your loved ones after you completely blow up on them out of the blue. Your loved ones WILL be the ones to take the brunt of this!
My husband is a God sent! 
Tim and I have always had a wonderful relationship. He is my best friend! Some people say that because it sounds good, but he truly is! This pregnancy has brought us closer than ever. We have been through a lot with the pregnancy. It was not your run of the mill boring pregnancy. We have had some major scares and not to mention...pregnancy is not pretty! I love the way he looks at me now and the way he's stuck by me even when I was unbelievably sick, uber crabby, and gaining an ungodly amount of weight! He is so exited to be a Daddy and I can't wait to see the amazing bond he and Graysen will have. He has been my rock through this whole thing. He has been at every  almost every doctor appointment and has been very involved in the whole process. When you are pregnant...you need support like that. I thank God everyday for him!
You need a posse of support!
My last paragraph leads me into this one. I have been fortunate to have several friends pregnant at the same time as me and have had the pleasure of working with most of them at the same time. You need many people surrounding you and giving you support while you are pregnant. I am so pleased to have gotten to share my pregnancy with a few dear friends. It was the first pregnancy for a few of us and you need people that are going through that or have just gone through that so that you can have someone to talk to that can relate. My parents/in-laws have been wonderful! You need people who are willing to help not only after the baby comes, but before as well, because there are days when you are so tired, you can't get the energy to pull yourself off the couch. With that said, you also need those friends that will drag you out of the house so that you can keep some sanity! My friends and family have been amazing!
Document it all!
 Don't take being pregnant for granted, relish in it all. The good days, the bad day, the fat bloated days, the tired days, the insanely energy filled nesting days...take it all in. Document everything. You may not feel like taking a 'belly shot' picture some days, but take the time to take some. You'll be happy you did later. It's crazy to look back and see the progression my body has gone through. Journal...you'll look back years from now and laugh, cry, and reminisce about these days. It's also something you can share with your children when they get older.
Mind, Body, & Soul are all interconnected! 
After all of that...remember...take time for yourself. Your mind & body are powerful things that should be treated together. Even on those days when you think..."I just feel like shit!", try to take time to reflect on something positive. Having a positive mind = a better feeling body, which in turn makes for a beautiful soul. I firmly believe and always have that you feel the way you want to feel. If you want feel crappy, your mind will make sure to tell your body to feel crappy. Find a place, in your mind or otherwise, where you feel at peace. Go there daily. Close your eyes, breathe slowly, and imagine the scents/sights/sounds of that place. Meditation is a powerful tool that more people should familiarize themselves with.

I have thoroughly enjoyed this pregnancy. Even when I felt like complete and utter shit...I'm glad I got to go through it. Even though, we had some major scares and were dealt things we never imagined we would be...I am stronger because of them. If you're handed it, you can handle it. I will take everything I have learned/been through with this pregnancy and better myself with it all!

MB

Words To My Unborn Son...

Dear Graysen,

I can't believe that you have been growing in my tummy for 33 weeks now! You are getting so big and so strong. Sometimes you hurt Mommy when you move, but it's ok...I'm just glad you are strong enough to do that! It makes me cry tears of joy as I write this thinking about how much you have grown and how far you have come! 14 weeks ago, we weren't sure if you would to this point after the doctor told us you had Choroid Plexus Cysts on your brain. You are a fighter though and proved you are tough by overcoming them! I will never forget the relief that came over your Dad and me when the ultrasound tech told us that she didn't see the one on the right anymore and the one on the left was almost gone! 

You are definitely a mover and a shaker. You love music already. You will be an excellent counter and I think you will come out already knowing how to count to 100 by 1's, 2's, 5's and 10's. You hear Mommy do that all day with her students. Mommy and Daddy put a big map in your room, because you are going to be worldly. You will do many great things and go to many exciting places in your life. I can't wait to see what a difference you make someday! 

I also can't wait to see the little person that I have been feeling roll around inside of me for so many months! I am so thrilled to find out who you are and see what kind of personality you have. I already know you will have a mind of your own.I can't imagine where you would get that trait from?? Must be from your father! ;) You were not very cooperative at the last ultrasound. I know though, that after 4, you were probably getting pretty sick of them.You will definitely be active! I kept telling your dad that you are going to be a cage fighter because it felt like you were using my tummy as your cage! We watched you do somersault after somersault at all of the ultrasounds. You will take after me with your coordination...your father is very clumsy!! 

You dad is going to be a great Daddy though! He is so excited to see you and meet you! Mommy gets to feel you all of the time but Daddy just feels you now and then when he puts his hands on Mommy's belly. He talks to you and tells you funny things. I think you like them because you start squirming when he does. Someone else that is very anxious/eager to meet you is Shadow. You are already his best friend! He lays on my tummy to listen to you and feel you move. Every morning and every night he goes into your room and checks the crib just to see if you are in there yet! Now that we have the cradle that I slept in while I was a baby, sitting  in the living room, he checks that too! Sometimes he just lays on the floor in your room...waiting! 

I hope you become the kind of man your father/grandfathers are. They are going to be great role models for you. They are excited to teach you about so many things! You will pick up a few bad habits from them, but you will see 3 men that are wonderful husbands, fathers, brothers, uncles and citizens. You will most likely learn to love JUNK! I say junk in a good way! Grandpa Armstrong likes to collect things, Grandpa Brusse is an auctioneer and has a passion for antiques and your father also loves to watch/go to auctions and "fix things" like the pedal car that hopefully will be fixed by the time you are old enough to use it! Mommy also loves to go antiquing and finding new uses for old things! You have already been to many antique stores!

There are so many people besides us that are anticipating your arrival as well. You will be so loved and so spoiled! I have been dreaming a lot about the day that we get to meet you. You will not be perfect, as much as people will say, "Oh...he's perfect!", you WILL NOT BE PERFECT! No one is perfect, but we will hopefully instill in you the want to strive to be the best you can be. You WILL be loved however, like you were perfect! 

Daddy and I are more than ready to meet you, but please stay put for a few more months ok?? You need to keep growing and getting stronger than ever! You aren't ready to come into this big world yet. Get cozy and build up your strength for your big entrance! 

All my love,

Mommy

Things you should NEVER say to a pregnant woman! EVER!

Ok...I may be slightly emotionally sensitive right now, but some people are just plain stupid when it comes to talking to a pregnant woman! I mean..it's like they lost their filter for any tact and even though they may not mean to come off rude, their comments are just plain ridiculous!

Here are a few of my "favorites" so far!

"Wow...You are HUGE!" Ok...I realize that my belly is getting bigger, along with other parts of me I'm sorry to say, BUT...it takes all I have to bite my tongue and not say something like, "I'm 7 months pregnant...what's your excuse?" HUGE is not a word a pregnant woman EVER wants to hear! Try something like "I'm so excited for you and love seeing the baby's growing progress!" 

"Oh...you're pregnant? I was thinking you were looking a little more 'built'!" Alright, even if you were thinking that I may have gained weight and didn't want to ask if I was pregnant, (Thank you for not asking, because unless you know FOR SURE...NEVER ask a woman if she is pregnant or when she is due!!) please don't tell me that you thought I was getting a little more 'built'! (I had gained 5lbs at this time by the way!)

"TUMMY TOUCHING" - I'm not opposed to tummy touching at all! I'm a kindergarten teacher and am being 'touched' all day long. Doing it without asking...another story! It seems to always be drunk men. My husband and I had a wildlife banquet and yep...2 drunk men, who we knew but still...touched/rubbed without asking! We were at a bar/restaurant eating supper and yep, you guess it...2 more drunk men that night! PLEASE ask before touching! I don't go around rubbing your belly!!!

"You think you're not sleeping now..." No shit! And before you jump to conclusions...I feel great right now and I'm sleeping great thanks! Obviously baby's are up every couple hours and anyone that THINKS they will be getting MORE sleep after they have a baby is just an idiot! 

"Your life is going to change!" Again...NO SHIT SHERLOCK! Thank you for stating the obvious!

"I was in labor for _____ hours and it SUCKED! Just you wait!!" No pregnant woman wants to hear your horror story about labor and delivery, especially a newbie! No one goes into labor/delivery thinking it will be a walk in the park. No pain...no gain! I just don't need to hear a long story about yours unless I ask. 

"Why would you ever want to do that??" Such as cloth diapers...I'm pretty sure that women used cloth diapers for many many years before disposables came along and if we want to take the extra time to wash, clean, etc...what do you care? You aren't going to have to do it! Sorry if we want to be nice to Mother Nature and use cloth diapers at home. We aren't completely against disposables and plan to use them now and then. I'm not judging you for using disposables!! 

"Good luck with that!!!" (said sarcastically) This is what we usually get when we say that we want to have a natural childbirth with no drugs. It's usually followed by said labor horror story mentioned earlier. Excuse me...woman have been having babies that way for 100s and 1000s of years! Instead, congratulate me and encourage me to give it my best effort. I'm a strong woman that can take more than you know!

"I bet your husband's excited you're having a boy!" Yes he is, but he would be just as excited if we were having a girl. We want a healthy baby and he was actually leaning towards a girl. 

"My friend's sister's cousin had a baby that was born with ________" (insert horrible disorder here) We actually DID have a genetic disorder scare and had to go in for a Type 2 ultrasound and genetic counseling. Our baby boy had brain cysts that they found at our 19 week ultrasound. You wouldn't believe the people that told us horror stories about friend's/relative's babies that had the same thing and died or a similar disorder or a disorder that had nothing to do with our baby and our situation. NO ONE wants to hear those stories when they are going through something like that. Be sympathetic and pray for us. Everything turned out fine and the cysts cleared themselves up by the way. 

"It's ok to have a beer/glass of wine! I did and my baby turned out fine!" That's great for you! I'll work on being the best/healthiest mom I can! Thanks though!

Ok, it may be my raging hormones lately, but again...that comes with pregnancy and DON'T point out to a pregnant woman that her hormones must be raging, but some people need to STOP AND THINK before they speak. Pretty sure, whenever talking to a pregnant woman, you should say how great she looks pregnant and how glowing she is, even if she isn't and she is crabby and moody! LIE THROUGH YOUR TEETH! They are already on a wild emotional roller coaster where they are excited and proud to be growing this human being inside of them one minute to feeling like a big fat blob the next. Their body is changing and I think they know that more that anyone! BE SENSITIVE and remember...if you don't have anything nice to say...KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! Ok, I'll get off my soap box for today. Blame today's blog post on my raging hormones! :) 

To Doula or Not to Doula???? That is the question!

This weekend Tim and I attended our Weekend Childbirth Class. It was very enlightening and I/we feel much more prepared. Not saying we are totally prepared because no one really is, but we are a lot more confident in the birthing experience. Our question now...Doula or no Doula?? 

For those of you that don't know what a Doula is, Doula means Woman's Servant and she comes and assists in the childbirth process. They make sure that Mom and Baby are as comfortable as they can be and that the labor/delivery process is exactly or as close to exactly what you would like. They aid in comfort measures and provide emotional support. 

When a Doula is present during/after the birthing process: 

• tends to result in shorter labors with fewer complications
• reduces the need for pitocin (a labor-inducing drug), forceps or vacuum extraction
• reduces mothers’ requests for pain medication and epidurals
• reduces cesarean sections by up to 26%
• improves the mother’s satisfaction with her birth experience
• reduces postpartum depression
• improves breastfeeding success
• reduces the length of hospital stays
• builds mother’s self confidence in the postpartum period

We know that we want to try very hard to not use any drugs during labor and to have a natural vaginal birth. I feel very confident in my ability to do this. I am strong and woman have been doing it for hundreds of years! It's what your body was made to do. At last resort, if something should happen, we are not opposed to a C-Section. If we need it, we need it but we want to try every other method before we just at an epidural. I want our baby to come out alert and ready to breastfeed. 

The childbirth educators, who are also Doulas, reassured us that if you can make it to 7 centimeters during the Transition Stage of labor, you can do it the rest of the way. The worst is most likely over. I've never had a baby, but I have been in labor and had my cervix opened and dilated.  I had to get an IUD and since my cervix had never been opened, they had to dilate me and induce me to open it manually. That was AWFUL but I drove myself home having contractions!!! I know that actual childbirth is going to be even more intense but I have faith that I can do it! I really want to try. I will have a WONDERFUL coach who is also my best friend helping me through it. 

An amazing thing about the Birth Center, where we are having Graysen is that we CAN make it our own experience. We plan to bring in relaxing/meditating music, aromatherapy, soft lighting and use the whirlpool tub/shower. They have labor balls, beds that move into all sorts of positions and not to mention that they delivered 900 babies last year alone!! We are in great hands! 

Our only question is...do we get a Doula or not?? They usually make two house visits before hand to go over what you want and the experience you want to have, are there when you go into labor and stay through the birth. They will stay for a couple hours if you want and they will assist with lactation right away as many of them are also lactation consultants. They usually make a home visit sometime within the first month after baby is born to check up and what not. There are several reputable/licensed Doula's in SE MN...we are just debating on whether we will use one. 

Leave me a comment and let me know your thoughts. Did you use one? Do you know someone who did? Do you wish you had used one?? HELP!!!!

My thoughts on almost being a half a year pregnant...

Wow...I can't believe that in a week, I'll have been pregnant for a half a year! I remember vividly that morning that I took the pregnancy test that almost instantly read PREGNANT! We new that we were going to start trying to have a baby right away after we got married. I have endometriosis and the doctor said that we should start right away because it may take a long time...if at all! Well...as you can see...it didn't take long at all! We got married July 16, had my IUD out August 26, and conceived on September 15. We decided to do the ovulation tests and by golly, they work!

My first trimester fears consisted of things like...

"What will it feel like to be pregnant?" 

"Can we really afford a baby right now?" 

"What will happen to my body?"

"Am I going to be THIS sick the WHOLE 40 weeks?"

Most of those have subsided. The fears/questions have changed to things like...

"Will we have everything we need when he gets here in 15 weeks or less?"

"What will we do about insurance?" 

"Will I ever sleep again...I'm already not sleeping now!"

"Still...can we really afford this baby?" 

"Our life is going to change so much...!"
"Are we going to be good parents? We 'raise' kids all day, but this is our own!" 

I guess you're never REALLY ready to have a baby. You just do it! 

I can't wait to meet Graysen and see the 'alien' that's been punching and kicking me in the ribs/crotch all day long...the little person that's been growing inside of me for all of these months. 

After our scare with his brain cysts, we are so grateful to be delivering a healthy baby boy! It really makes you appreciate everything once you go through something like that.

 We live by the motto, "If we're handed it...we can handle it!" 

This pregnancy has been a roller coaster of emotions and the best ride of my life! I can't wait to see where it takes us. I am so excited to be a mommy!

Happy Christmahannakwanzaakah!

Merry Christmas everyone! (and Happy Hanukkah and Kwanzaa!) AND...Happy 40th birthday to my wonderful husband Tim! He had our traditional Bloody Marys to celebrate. I watched! Our good friend and my "sister from another mister", Karin and her mom joined us along with my mom and dad. Karin is 30 on the 26th. Tim really liked his present. Aside from a baby on the way, I surprised him with cage fighting tickets at Treasure Island Casino. He and his cousin, Chuck can go while Chuck's wife Julie and I do something else. We also had a "surprise" breakfast at school for him yesterday where he was presented with 30 bottles of HOT SAUCE! His favorite condiment! He asks way too many questions so it wasn't a complete surprise! Oh well...it was a fun time anyway!
 I don't have a 16 week picture because this week has been CRAZY! Now that I'm already 16 weeks and 4 days, I'll probably just wait until 17 weeks to post a picture. This week was filled with lots of excitement. I'm feeling the baby kick more and more but...also had 3 horrible gallbladder attacks and have to go in for an ultrasound on Tuesday to look for gall stones or kidney stones. :( The doctor said it could be the baby putting pressure on the tube and twisting it so it catches, but she thinks more towards the area of a stone! Whatever it is...it was the WORST pain I've felt! Knocked me to the ground. Tim almost took me to the ER on Tuesday night. We'll have to wait until Tuesday to see what they find. Won't even get to see the baby at this ultrasound because it's a totally different kind/area.
We do have an ultrasound scheduled for January 10th though. The question will be....He? She? We'll look and see! Can't wait to see if it's a boy or a girl. We are leaning towards girl but who knows. The ultrasound tech will probably get annoyed with me/us because having a degree in early childhood development, I'll want to see the closed spine and palette! It's getting so much more real as my belly gets bigger (looking less and less beer bellyish) and the baby is moving more and more (or I can just feel it more and more). Happy Holidays everyone! I'll be back in a few days with photos.